TWW – The Worst Weeks …

… of the menstrual cycle.

I’m mid TWW. That’s two week wait for those of you who are not so obsessed with trying to conceive, not really The Worst Weeks. Though they really are a time of torture that not many women survive without some emotional turmoil. For me it’s waiting to see if all that Clomid taking, temperature monitoring, peeing on ovulation sticks has finally been worth the effort. For those of you who know the hell that is this time, I apologise, as I’m sure the sight of those three capital letters made you shudder. It really is the worst time.

 Am I? Aren’t I? Could I be? Oooh, what was that twinge? Ahhh, I think I feel a little nauseous. Wow. I had a really runny nose today, but I’m not sick. That’s random. I wonder … Grrrrrrrr! Don’t come within 1KM of me. I’m extremely irritable and everything and everyone annoys me today. Right, my breasts feel a bit sore. My period must be coming. Bloody brilliant. Oooh, but that could be a sign of pregnancy …

That is pretty much a typical TWW.  Thrown in this time though; my little ones birthday. Time is passing. The potential sibling age gap grows. I think I would be OK with the passing of another birthday if I knew for sure I would get to experience this all again. Please let me experience this again. The three of us had a nice day. Just us. But I feel a pattern coming on. Last birthday, I was emotional. Happy for my little one, and excited for her to open her presents, but I struggled to not snap at times. This year was the same. It’s such a shame to let anything take away from enjoying my little ones day, but it’s tough and I feel it’s a bittersweet day.

So, the clomid did its job. I ovulated, and fairly early (for me) at day 17. Everything looks ok so far temperature wise which, I might add, really fuels the obsession especially in the TWW. I spend two weeks watching my temperature, analysing my chart for any dip that might mean its ovulation day, and then another two weeks praying the darn thing stays up and keeps my uterus a beautifully cosy place to grow a little person.

I think we did pretty well on timing our baby making bedroom action too. So what can we do now, but cross our fingers and hope that next week brings us longed for news? You gotta keep your hope right?


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